Honesty and Just Because It's Free...

This week at work is a little different for me. Normally, I work independently and can set my own schedule. I'm in control of my lunch breaks and "snack breaks."

This week I am in an all day seminar every day (with the exception of Monday).

I had a feeling that lunch was going to be catered in for us. So, I prepared and packed my own lunch. My hunch was correct and at 11:30...the gourmet sandwiches (is that an oxymoron?) arrived. I debated eating the lunch provided striking a deal with myself that I would track it and have a light supper. Then I thought about it some more and realized that I didn't really want to do that. I wanted to stick to my plan. I knew that would evoke some strange looks from the fellow seminar attendees. I also need to mention that I'm the only representative from my area in this seminar. The other people are people I just met today.

I made a choice to stick with my packed lunch. I didn't want to seem anti-social so I took my lunch into the conference room. Just as I suspected, the person sitting next to me said "What are you doing?" "I'm paying for Weight Watchers at work and I'd prefer to stick with the lunch I brought" was my response. Next thing I know...the facilitator of the seminar (from across the room) says "What's the matter, Kylie...don't you like the lunch?" "No, I love the lunch. I'm doing Weight Watchers and I'm trying to stick to the plan" I said.

I announced, in a room full of strangers, that I am on Weight Watchers. I know to some this isn't a big deal. But, for me, it has always been hard to "admit" this to others. And I think I finally realized why. When you tell someone you're on WW...it is almost as if giving them permission to judge you. Then can assess your weight and think either "Oh good for you" or "You don't need WW!" or something else. Whatever their reaction, it's almost guaranteed that it will have something to do with weight. This is something I've never wanted to draw attention to in the past. But this time it's different. I just don't care. Why should I? I'm doing this for me. And as an extra bonus...I now know that I have 24 eyes watching what I eat. Ok, maybe not...but that's what I'll tell myself.

I was also given the excuse..."But it's FREE!!" Free food doesn't make it necessary for me to eat it. The "free" mentality caused me to balloon a few years ago. "Free food always tastes better!" Maybe so...but it's not worth the possible outcome on the scale.

Here's another random story from today. A gentleman that is in my WW at Work session is also in this seminar with me. He sat right next to me. When I announced my WW...he says to me "Well, I'm paying for it too...but I'm going to walk tonight." Great! Whatever works for him. He's a big guy and has already lost 35 pounds (he told me this today). While I was a bit jealous...I knew the fact that he's a guy and we are at different points in our journeys would ease that jealousy. But then I noticed his snacking all day long. He had 4+ sandwiches, 3+ bags of chips (not baked, mind you), and HUGE cookie (they looked SO good), and plenty of the mini candy bars that were on the table. I really wasn't trying to judge. He was sitting next to me and mentioned WW. I thought maybe we could be little WW buddies during the seminar. Then I saw him give into temptation. That's ok. It's his journey, not mine.

Then, at the end of the day we were going through our positives and "deltas" (negatives) of the day. This was a round-table discussion in which each person had to submit feedback for both. WW @ Work buddy's deltas was this, "Move lunch back and offer more WW friendly options." WTH?!

I'm perfectly fine with bringing my own lunch. In fact, I prefer it that way. I know exactly what I'm having and the point values (here's my issue with CONTROL again). But now I have the organizers of the seminar apologizing profusely to me and trying to come up with ways to accommodate me and my WW needs. I had to reassure them MANY times that it was not that big of a deal. I'm not one to complain or demand (especially when it's FREE). I am just going to continue to bring my lunch. The rest of the week should be interesting. Well, at least the lunch breaks anyway ;)